


Before the Dawn - Exposure

by orphan_account



Series: Before the Dawn [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: (John just does not understand gender), Alternate Universe, Collars, Consensual, Language Barrier, M/M, Sexual Experimentation, Slavery, Tentabulges, Transphobic language/misunderstanding, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-30
Updated: 2012-09-30
Packaged: 2017-11-15 08:00:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/524987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few months after Karkat purchased John from a slave trade in order to save him, the thirteen-year-old human has really begun to settle in; and even with the language barrier between them, they've become something akin to friends. </p><p>And a rather confusing confrontation in the bathroom initiates an awkward game of show-and-tell, followed by something John never thought he'd be okay with considering his terrifying past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Before the Dawn - Exposure

**Author's Note:**

> Joint RP fic between Zilleniose and Evan (shymuffin) - beta'd by Ali (trickstersgambit)!

It was kind of cold outside today, so John bumped the water temperature up a few degrees more than usual. It still sometimes took him a few tries to get it just right with those weird controls. Apparently there were two knobs solely dedicated to a weird mixture of water and something else he still hadn't figure out was meant for cleaning sopor off easier. It was somehow more harsh than regular water - the last time John accidentally showered in it, his skin was tender the rest of the day, like he stayed out in the sun a little too long without sunscreen. So he made sure to double and triple check each time before he steps under the stream of water. He hummed a bit as he began to wash up, getting a lather going in his hair, wondering what he could cook up for breakfast.

The past week or so, he'd taken the privilege of experimenting with the food in Karkat's pantries, and found a few good recipes out of.... well, he still didn't really know what most of that stuff was. He'd rather not think about it. If it tasted okay and didn't make him sick, it was fine. Last thing he wanted to learn was that pasty, buttery stuff he likes to eat right out of the jar is made up of mashed cockroaches or something.

It wasn't long before John finished up, and stands under the water for a while longer, relishing in the relaxing heat and he combed through his hair with his fingers, making extra sure all the shampoo was been rinsed out.

  


* * *

  


Waking up is always a long process, for Karkat. He ended up wavering back and forth between a drowsy wakefulness and a light, unrest-full sleep for at least half an hour before he finally is able to drag himself from his 'coon. He did his best to slick as much of the sopor off of himself with the flat of his palm, limbs feeling clumsy and heavy from the sedative filled goop. Thank god for sopor, lest he'd never get any sleep, but he was as good as the shuffling dead until he could get under the shower and rinse it completely off.

With a jaw cracking yawn he stumbles blurrily towards the ablution block.

It's not until he was standing in the middle of the tiled floor did he realize that water had been running when he'd stepped in, and he _only_ realized because quite suddenly it turned off. The gurgle of liquid being sucked down the drain echoed only slightly and Karkat stood there, glassy eyed and nearly sleepwalking as he tried to figure out who would be using the 'trap.

A dim bulb flickered for a second and he squinted towards the fogged glass door. "Jawn?" It was harder to say the weird, alien sound that he'd learned to be the other being's name while bogged down with slime. His accent sounded as thick as his head felt.

The moment Karkat let the name roll off his tongue, the door opened in a bit of a faltering slide. And right in the doorway, was a very surprised, very naked, almost horrified John.

"B-buh, Kar-" The alien stared at Karkat with wide eyes and a very obviously flushed face that was only getting redder by the second. He fumbled with a handful of his nonsensical human words, before he quickly realized the troll was still in a semi-sedated state, and he stumbled out of the shower as fast as he could manage, doing his best to stay as far away from Karkat as possible. They may have been living together for a while now, and Karkat has certainly seen John naked before, but it _really_ brought up some unpleasant memories and uncomfortable emotions, and... well, this was sort of John's first time seeing Karkat completely bare and covered in sopor.

John damn near pulled the entire stack of towels out of the hamper when he snagged one, quickly covering himself up before freezing against the wall, staring at the troll. "U-um."

Karkat's chin lifted, brows pinched together faintly as he tried to the bile to snap at John not to stare or something. Instead he just ended up limply raising his hand and making a vague gesture as though to wave him away. He understood the unsure sound John was making. The strange, nasal, vibrating intonation that meant he wasn't sure what he should do or say.

He felt slow and stupid and mild. He made an irritated click at the back of his throat as he headed over towards the shower, pausing beside it long enough to glance back over at John. The way he was pressed against the wall, those wide blue eyes taking him in...

Oh. "Oh."

John had never seen him naked before. That might explain this weird behavior.

Karkat managed to summon the ability to be somewhat self conscious as he leaned towards the shower, twisting the knobs to start the water. Thankfully John had literally just gotten out, there was no wait time for things to heat up. Stepping inside he slid the door mostly closed, leaving enough of a gap to look owlishly back out at John, his hair plastered to his forehead and cheeks with slime. He felt like something should be said but his sleep-fuddled mind was only half waking up and that was only due to the slime having started to _dry_. The thought of caked on sopor making him itch all day long as he scratched of flakes of green was not appealing. He snapped the door the rest of the way closed, stood in the stream of water, and closed his eyes with a long sigh

John felt himself relax just enough to snap out of it when Karkat closed the steam-covered door. Okay. Okay. Just. Okay, grab another towel. He forced himself to breathe slowly as he grabbed another towel - wrapped one around his waist, and the other over his shoulders. He didn't normally grab two towels, but he kind of... well, he really wanted to cover up.

Slipping past the door and back into the bedroom, John mechanically walked back over to his bed and sat down, cheeks still flushed. God, it really _shouldn't_ have bothered him that badly! Karkat had seen him naked, what... three times now? Yeah, that sounded about right. But it still... he was only eighteen. Eighteen _earth years_. And if that wasn't enough, the memories of those golden eyes staring at him through the metal bars of his prison...

He shook his head, trying to shake the images from his mind. Karkat wasn't the same, after all. He knew that now. He's known that for a _while_. So who cares? They're both guys so it isn't like it's super weird or anyth-

Wait a minute.

Guys, right?

The image of Karkat naked body resurfaced, and John found himself blushing again. The residual grub legs near his rib cage were nothing new (he'd seen Karkat without his shirt before), but... Karkat... _Karkat didn't have a penis_.

Karkat _didn't have a fucking penis_.

John could only sit there, clutching the towel around his shoulders in shock and confusion. Had he.... had he been rooming with a _girl_ this entire time? Oh god. But he- she's an alien, right? Does that even matter? It's not like their bits are compatible anyway so- AUGH he did not just think about that! The whole reason girls and guys weren't supposed to sleep in the same room together was because of potential sex, right? And there wasn't any! Yup, so it wasn't weird. Oh god no, no it's still weird. He'd seen Karkat without her shirt on! Okay, so she was kind of flat (no, okay, really flat) but that still was probably kind of indecent! Not that Karkat seemed to make a fuss about it... maybe she's just shameless? Maybe comfortable enough around John? No no no that's weird- no it's _not_ because Karkat is Karkat and it doesn't really matter if she's a girl! She's the same Karkat he knows and, well, more than anything, John just wanted to know one thing.

Why didn't Karkat _tell_ him?

It felt good, the warm water rinsing away the groggy, cotton-headed feeling that had been clouding his brain since he'd struggled out of the 'coon. He spent a bit longer than usual in there, as his mind woke up he realized how intently John had been staring at him. But that wasn't too surprising, where he'd seen John enough times to get used to his weird anatomy and mentally compare how they were different the other hadn't ever encountered a naked Alternian, not even in movies.

Reaching down he twisted the knobs to cut off the spray of water, standing a few moments longer to drip dry and watch the last of the water, clear rather than tinted green, sluice down into the drain and away. At least it hadn't been too awkward. Thank god he'd mostly been still asleep and sluggish or John would have gotten a less than kind reaction to his staring. Karkat slid open the glass door, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his waist. He reached for his second to throw over his head and dry off his hair but... it wasn't there.

With a scowl he dug around in the hamper, finding one that was dry and didn't smell too much like stale, sour cloth and began tousling his hair, heading out and back towards his room. Opening the door he glanced up and realized... John was here. John was _everywhere_ today, it seemed. He gave a faint groan of irritation.

"The fuck are you still doing in here. You're not even dressed, get dressed." He repeated it again, more slowly to try and get the point across as he pointed towards John. "Get. Dressed."

He stood to the side of the door, arms cross over his chest and towel rested against the back of his neck, draping down over his shoulders and his hair sticking out in odd, wet clumps.

John stiffened a bit when Karkat walked into the room, but he watched the troll with a fairly normal expression when he - no, she, began to slowly repeat himself. He had to keep himself from staring at Karkat - she wasn't covering her chest! Maybe... maybe that's not weird here?

Well, okay. It took him a second, but he understood the simple phrase "get dressed" in the weird clicks and growls and other odd Alternian syllables. He stood up, and started walking towards the closet, glancing over at Karkat a few time, oddly quiet. Even if he couldn't express complex Alternian sentences, he would often go off rambling in English even if Karkat couldn't understand him. But no, right now he was silent.

He grabbed a shirt from the closet (one of Karkat's, since he only had two of his own and he refused to let Karkat buy him any more when the troll already had an absurd amount of clothes), a pair of pants, boxers.... and he walked back towards the bathroom, where he'd usually change if Karkat was in the room. He paused for a moment, about to say something, but held it and walked in, shutting the door behind him as he quickly began to change.

John's silence was. Weird. Unnerving. Something seemed wrong... was it more of those horrible flashbacks that left him trembling and curled up in a path-- stupid little ball. He was almost positive John didn't think that Karkat could hear him whimpering and crying but more often than not he could. He let him have his tears in peace, though. A hard lesson he'd learned over time - he'd scared John more than once by trying to force him to forget about the shit that happened and cheer the hell up.

With a shrug Karkat threw off his towel and rummaged through his closet, tugging on his clothes. Before dumping the used towels into the hamper he used them to wipe up the sopor that had dribbled over the lip of his recoupercoon and onto the floor.

John took a bit longer than usual tugging his clothes on, his eyes glued to the ground as his mind continued to reel. It felt like honestly, this revelation wasn't that huge of a deal. And it wasn't! Things wouldn't change just because Karkat's a girl.

But it was going to be a constant elephant in the room until John says something. How is he even going to bring that up? It's not like he had a huge Alternian vocabulary yet. Ugh, this is going to be so awkward...

Silently, he took a breath and opened the door back up, cringing a bit when he saw that Karkat was still in the room. He was hoping he'd have a little more time to think of the right Alternian words to use, but it didn't look like he'd have that luxury anymore. So instead, he just walked up to the troll, giving him a fairly even gaze as he advanced, though his hands were fiddling with the bottom of his shirt like a nervous kid.

Karkat didn't notice him at first, sopping up the last of the sopor off the floor with the saturated towel. He stood and turned, nearly running into the other male. He gave a startled warning growl, shooting John an annoyed look. "Why the fuck are you standing so close? Jesus." He noticed the way those long, slender fingers were working the fabric of his shirt, twisting it up into knots. Karkat's expression of aggravation melted into caution as he edged around the other and tossed the towel in the hamper.

Something was up.

"What." He made sure to not add anything else onto the sentence, he would have loved to elaborate with, _'What in the ever living grubfuck do you want, why are you staring at me like I'm some roarbeast about to tear you to shreds I thought we got this message across already, I'm not going to hurt you no matter how often you make me want to wipe the floor with your stupid prankster face.'_

John tensed up, looking even more like a deer in headlights when Karkat start snapping at him for staring. It was amazing how John could still get the gist of what Karkat says most of the time, even when the troll talks far too fast for him to keep up identifying individual words.

Great, now Karkat thought he was scared again or something? Immediately, the human shook his head, brows furrowing together. Damn it, he had to do something quick or Karkat would seep into a throw of guilt like he used to.

John looked straight into Karkat's eyes with a determined gaze, hoping his accent won't muddle the only word he could think of using. A finger jabbed straight in the direction of Karkat's crotch, only about an arm's length away, and he opened his mouth.

" _Girl_."

Of all the things that Karkat had been expecting John to say or do that had not been it. His brows knit together in a confused scowl as he just... stood there. Eventually he closed his eyes, face scrunching up into what could only be described as a pained look of irritation, and brought his hand up to rub thumb and index finger across his brow, pushing stray locks of black hair away from his face.

He heaved a sigh and let his hand drop again, defeated. He could not figure out why John would just randomly splutter the word 'girl'. Maybe he heard him wrong. He made a decent pass at speaking Alternian but his alien throat and speaking box just didn't seem fit to imitate the clicks and chatters that made up the language. Karkat took in a deep, calming breath, shoulders hunching as he looked John in the face. "I didn't understand. What?" He shook his head slowly to try and further get across that he thought maybe he didn't hear him right.

"Girl." John repeated the word, slower this time, shaking his arm a bit at he continued to point at the troll's crotch. "Karkat is _girl_."

"What. No. What?"

Karkat felt like his jaw had dropped and his eyes had bugged out. "Seriously, John. What the fuck are you... No. Karkat is a _boy_. Male. Fuck you, asshole!" He slapped John's pointing hand away, irritated. He wasn't exactly _insulted_ , but he was completely blown away by the out of the blue accusation of being female. "Wow, just when I thought you couldn't say anything else mind-numbingly idiotic. Where even did that come from!?"

John frowned, looking a bit irritated himself when Karkat smacked his hand away. Why couldn't Karkat just admit it! It's not like it bothered him, but it was something he wanted to know. Maybe Karkat was embarrassed? They were buddies now, he shouldn't be!

"Girl." John repeated yet again. He bit his lip, trying to think of something else to say. It wasn't like he learned the words for _genitals_ or anything. Why would he? Oh! "Naked! Karkat is girl!" He motioned to the troll's crotch again. "Nothing, naked!"

"Oh, okay, no. I get you. You want me to wear 'nothing' and get 'naked' because I'm a 'gi-'..." His hands had been up to visibly make the jerky finger quotation gestures as he spoke, his voice choking out as a realization came to him. He settled arms back down to his sides, clearing his throat and speaking slowly and carefully. He was too disbelieving to be able to summon any heat behind his words.

"John?" When he had John's attention he continued. "Why do you think I'm a girl." His expression was blank. His voice was humorless. There was nothing funny about this.

The human boy blinked, having to crane his neck just a little bit, since Karkat was a good few inches taller than him. He pursed his lips, thinking for a moment. "Why?"

Karkat was asking him why he's a girl? He frowned, giving the troll a rather incredulous look. "Nothing." He knew Karkat would probably slap his hand away again, but he motioned once more to the troll's crotch. " _Noth-ing_. Girl. Girl pieces. No guy."

Things finally clicked into place and the crushing truth was revealed. John had seen Karkat with 'nothing' on, oh god it'd probably happened while he was still mostly asleep trying to get into the shower, and for whatever reason had made some assumptions that he was not male. Which was still confusing because he wasn't exactly what qualified as 'girl pieces'.

Granted, John did have his own strange anatomy. The bulge that seemed to be permanently outside of his nook and that weird dangling sack of flesh like some bizarre gobblebeast waddle. Not that he'd... stared at it but he'd seen John without anything on enough times. He'd always tried to respectfully avert his eyes but the weird anatomy and pure curiosity had drawn his eyes to that hanging sack of wobbly flesh each time.

Maybe girls of his species showed some other kind of identifier.

Karkat sighed, reaching out to take John by the shoulders and steered him over to the furniture that served as John's bed. It still made him want to hide his face in shame that he was sleeping on something designed for matesprits but it's what he'd chosen and he seemed honestly comfortable so... oh well. He pushed John down lightly, palms on his shoulders, to get him to sit, and followed suit to sit beside him.

"I am a _boy_ troll. Karkat. Is. A. _Boy_. Troll. You're a boy what was it. Hyoo-mun. Boy hyoo-mun." And he touched John's chest, making the flat sounds that meant whatever it was John's species was. "Boy troll." And he touched his own chest. Then for added effect he pointed to his pelvis, brows pushed down in a scowl. "Boy."

John just looked even more confused each time Karkat uttered word after slow word. He obviously knew what the words meant, Karkat had to know the human knew that much at least, but something still wasn't right. John shook his head, uttering a few syllables in his alien language.

So he got up, and walked over to the desk next to Karkat's computer, still talking to himself, idle chatter as he opened a few drawers, looking for something. Finally he found it - the notebook John has been practicing writing in Alternian for the past two weeks. Triumphantly, he grabbed a pen and rushed back over to the bed, sitting right back down beside Karkat as he flipped the pad over to a clean page.

He began drawing. Really crude drawings even a grub would probably be embarrassed over, but he seemed to be in a rush. Two figures, both equally as round and squishy-looking. Of course it probably didn't help he was making them entirely out of circles and ovals.

"Boy." John spoke clearly in Alternian, and added something on one drawing. A weird little oblong shape between the legs. That's when he turned the notebook around to face Karkat, and he pointed at the other figure. " _Girl_. Nothing. Karkat is girl!"

Karkat shook his head, reaching for and grabbing the notebook from John's hands. He held out his other for the pen and when it was placed in his palm he started scribbling his own pictures. He made sure to make a giant X through John's doodles, appalled that there was apparently some bizarre difference that he just wasn't understanding.

Finally he turned the pad around and showed him a crude, scribbly drawing of his own. They were both trolls, which was obvious by the set of horns on top of their heads. Both flat chested. Both had strange, squiggly lines between their legs where John had drawn that stupid hot-dog shape.

He pointed to one, with short nubby horns much like his own. "Boy." He ground out. Then pointed towards the other, the only difference was the fact that it's horns were a bit pointier and slightly curved. "Girl."

John stared at the notebook. His brows furrowed and he looked more lost than ever before. He grabbed the notebook back, took the pen, and pointed at the "boy" drawing of the troll, and circled the crotch. God this was embarrassing, he felt his cheeks getting red.

"Karkat." He pointed at Karkat, then back at the circle he drew. "Naked. Nothing." He drew an x over the weird squiggly lines. What were they even supposed to be?

He pointed back at the drawing of the human girl. "Girl. Naked. Nothing." He drew a circle at the crotch again. "Karkat is girl."

Karkat grabs for the pen, fighting John for it for a second and then promptly scribbling a huge circle around the exact spot that he just crossed out on the boy troll, then, with the pen still on the paper so a black, splotchy line connected them, moved to draw a circle around the boy human's crotch. In a fit he stabbed the pen at it, puncturing the paper slightly as he nearly shouted the word. "Boy!"

He flung the notebook to the floor and dropped the pen, getting up off the bed. Stupid doodles were getting them no where. It shouldn't have bothered him as much as it did. He wasn't mad that he was being called a girl so much as appalled that John was so _persistent_ and had to specify some weird difference. "What the hell does it matter anyway? But nope! Nope! You know what? Since you're going to be such a wriggler about it fine. Show and tell."

He reached down, shoving the hem of his shirt up and tucking it under his chin to reveal his stomach and most of his chest. With both hands free he began to attack the belt he wore, nearly spitting with indignation that he had to do this in the first place.

John stared with surprise when Karkat lifted his shirt up, but it slowly sunk to an expression of almost gross terror when the troll went for his belt. He yelled a few weird human words, obviously startled by Karkat's sudden urge to strip.

He whined like an indignant kid and covered his eyes, cheeks burning all over again. What was Karkat thinking?!

Karkat had half a mind to snap at John not to cover his fucking eyes since he was so intent on being a thick-headed idiot but... actually it made things a bit easier. Now that his belt was off and his pants were undone he had begun to have second thoughts about this.

What in the fresh hell did he think he was doing.

Instead of stripping completely he sat heavily on the bed beside John, pants down around his knees. He nudged the human roughly in the shoulder, trying to get his attention. "You better man the fuck up and stop covering your eyes or so help me... _John_."

He reached out and grabbed a wrist, tugging a hand away so he could get his attention and John could see that he was not completely naked.

The boy cringed, but he didn't back away. Relaxing visibly, he let his other hand drop back to his side and gave Karkat an disbelieving stare. "Why? _Weird_ , Karkat."

He kept glancing down at the pants at Karkat's knees, and the boxers still at his waist. Was he planning on stripping completely? At first the old saying "you don't have anything I don't" makes less sense than ever now. Karkat's a girl (probably? Karkat seems pretty upset about something), and an _alien_ on top of that.

And... he didn't want to admit it. He didn't want to see Karkat naked. Not when... not when John was stripped himself and shown to endless crowds of trolls not that long ago. _Anything_ sexual scared the fuck out of him now, but this was _Karkat_. It's not like the troll would jump him or anything.

He thought about the words he just heard Karkat say. He knew he heard "show". Maybe John was wrong about not seeing anything down there? Oh god, this entire ordeal was just horrible.

Karkat looked down at John's chest when he was sure the other being was focused on him and refused to look anywhere else. He took a deep breath and held it, trying to think of where to start. John was right. This was weird, but something had to be explained or John was going to assume that he was female forever and that. No. Just, no.

He made sure to talk slowly enough so John could follow, already knowing that he wouldn't be able to catch everything. There was going to be some weird lack of communication and that just made everything worse and maybe this wasn't going to be anything different than the drawings but he had to try.

"Okay, so." He licked his lips, lifting his gaze to stare at the wall over John's shoulder, face beginning to turn an ashen red. He held up his hands... and began trying to illustrate. He curled one into a fist, his thumb flat against the index to make a slit. "This. Okay, this is like. Fuck. Trolls have nooks. John look at this, oh my god I'm only explaining it once. So this is m...a nook." He faltered, voice going faint a second as he nearly said 'my nook'. Wow that was way too personal. He continued the diagram by taking his other hand, then pressing a finger through the opening of the makeshift hand nook. "Okay and then they also have a bone-bulge. But not just one I mean. It's like..." And he put both hands together, twining the fingers, and wiggling them a bit. Which looked fucking ridiculous but got his point across, he guessed.

"Get it?" He looked up at John for the first time, not sure of what kind of reaction he'd see.

The blank stare Karkat got had to be more than enough of an answer.

Nevertheless, John brought up his own hand, and imitated Karkat's hand gestures. Pressing two fingers together, he repeated the odd word. "Nook?" He stared at his fingers before looking back at Karkat with a bit of a shine in his eyes, like he finally understood. "Girl piece?"

What was John's obsession with defining what a girl piece was. "No... _Troll_ piece."

He heaved a sigh, gritting his teeth and swallowing. Alright. This wasn't going to be anything. John already saw it. He'd seen John. This was only fair, right? A little exposure between friends wasn't anything, right? Right. Okay.

The bed creaked as he leaned onto one elbow, taking hold of the hem of his boxers. He procrastinated by kicking his pants the rest of the way off, feeling weird and uncomfortable to have them pooling around his ankles. He flicked his gaze up towards John and decided it was probably better to do or die rather than warn the other about what he was doing.

John tended to get tense even when Karkat had only taken off his shirt to get undressed for his 'coon at night and would scurry out to avoid seeing him. He sympathetically thought of those first few days, the only times he'd seen John naked, and the way he'd reacted to it. Those fuckers had done _something_ to him.

Whatever, he was thinking too much. John might run away.

Do or die.

Karkat lifted his hip slightly, averted his eyes, and tugged his boxers down past his hip bones, stopping when the hem was a few inches above his knees. John froze and just about wanted to faint when the boxers began coming off. He rolled onto his back, propping himself up with his elbows, and pointed emphatically at himself.

"Nook. Fucking troll piece, okay?" God he couldn't look at John. He instead looked down at himself, realized he was showing an alien his nook, and promptly looked at the ceiling, the hectic flush in his face getting brighter.

John hid his face again, but soon his hands fell down a bit, fingers just at the bottom of his eyes. He was nearly an adult, he could handle looking at a naked body! Karkat was obviously trying to show him something anyway, so-

Oh gosh, no, John had seen it right the first time. But this time, he found himself staring for a good while, face as red as it could possibly be. It... it looked _kind_ of like a.... well, he'd only seen it in physical education books, but it looked really similar! But really.... _red_. And.... oh gosh.

He gave up and opted to look at Karkat's face, only to find the troll was staring at the ceiling. Oh... this must have been embarrassing for Karkat, too. So whatever he was wanting to show had to be important, and, well it also really intrigued him on a really weird level. Knowing a troll was beside him, half naked, made him stomach churn unpleasantly. Made him feel tense and uncomfortable, but, yeah, he would be lying if he didn't sometimes wonder just how different troll and human biology was.

This "nook" Karkat was showing John looked like human girl parts, and John _was_ a boy, so. Yeah, it kind of interested him just a tiny bit on that level, too. If it was any other troll besides Karkat beside him though, he would have been out the door by now.

"Um," He had to break the painful awkward silence. "Karkat still girl?"

Karkat’s hand was up and smacking himself in the forehead before the troll could even register that he'd executed a face-palm. _Again_ there was the accusation that he was a girl. He used his hand as cover for the embarrassing flush that covered his face, though, sighing and letting it slide down to cover the lower half of his face, finally looking over at John.

He looked... scared. But interested. Really flustered? But who wouldn't be, in this sort of situation. John was normal, at least. Or at least Karkat assumed he was normal, maybe it was weird for a human to be able to just sit by and watch someone show them their junk.

"No, oh my god, you were dropped on the head as a wriggler, weren't you. You were fed dried flakes of hive coloration liquid, weren't you. Boy! I'm a boy! Just."

He huffed and moved his hand down, resting his palm against his inner thigh and hesitating, eyes flicking over to make sure John was watching before he looked down at what he was doing. Just pretend he was going through some med-exam. That was the way to get through this. He took a deep breath and let it out, moving to rest the heel of his hand against his lower belly as he slid two fingers down over his nook, eyes sliding half closed in preparation for what he was about to do.

He slid them between the folds lightly, showing that his nook ran in a clean slit from top to bottom. With a finger on either side he began to apply pressure, biting his lower lip. He had to stop, reposition his fingers once, then dropped his head back and let out a breath of embarrassment as he pressed down again. It took a few moments, but soon he could feel the warm surge of his bulge beginning to slide out, making him catch his lip again. It wasn't coaxed all the way out, he was partially too fucking embarrassed for that to be able to happen, but there was enough for John to see what a fucking bonebulge was, at least. Karkat tipped his head up, nodding down at himself with his head since one arm was preoccupied with holding himself up with the other was obviously held up exposing himself.

"Bone bulge. Also _troll piece_."

If John's expression wasn't one of pure horror when Karkat began touching himself, it was _now_.

It started out slow. Just a tiny bulge of pink-red flesh, but then something _moved_ , and... oh sweet merciful jesus, _what was that_.

He let out a rather embarrassing noise, a mixture of a whimper and a surprised yelp, as he reeled back, head smacking against the wall as he brought his knees up to his chest, as if that would shield him from. From. Whatever the fuck that was it looked like a worm or something and why was it coming out of Karkat's parts oh god.

He babbled in English for a moment, but he couldn't tear his eyes away. It was like a _train wreck_. It was odd and gross and he wanted to look away but he just _couldn't_. "B-buh, Karkat!" He finally said, fingers scratching nervously on the fabric of pants right at his knees. "Weird! _Weird_! What _is_ that?!" He thanked the heavens he learned that particular phrase (he'd used it probably a million times already over the course of the time he'd spent here), because jesus _christ_. A bonebulge? That's what it was? What even _was_ that?!

The way John was suddenly jerking away and cramming himself against the headboard had Karkat pulling his hand away rapidly from himself. There was no way that he was going to be able to stay aroused enough to keep his bulge out with the way John was acting and it quickly retracted. The way he was pointing frantically, almost in hysterics over it. Calling him weird...

Karkat blindly reached for his boxers, yanking them back up. He looked at John, the way he was completely disgusted. Oh god. Karkat rolled over onto his side, facing away from the human, and curled up on himself. It was bad enough that John had been questioning the fact that he was a fucking boy but now he was looking at him like the mutant freak he was.

Wow. He'd thought he'd left those thoughts and memories and the horrible, gnawing sense of revulsion towards himself a long time ago. Who cared that he had normal troll anatomy. He _was_ still weird. Even if John wasn't freaking out over the flushed red that his bulge had been and more just over his bulge in the first place.

He tried waving a hand over his shoulder, motioning vaugley at John. "It was my fucking bone bulge. Okay? I'm a boy. A _boy_. Stop calling me a girl." Good. Good, he wouldn't think about his mutant blood. Just convince John he was a boy, that's what this was about in the first place, right?

At first, John was still. Silent. Almost like Karkat had broken him or something with such a lewd, unwanted display of something so private. Like the message was completely lost, and all Karkat had succeeded in doing was scar John even further, and probably ruin whatever weird version of friendship they had.

However, after a few tense breaths, there was some slow shuffling of sheets, and the mattress just beside the troll indented. John sat on his knees, looking at Karkat with a bit of worry now. He hadn't expected the troll to react like that at all. Did he offend him when he yelled? Did it hurt his feelings?

It was weird, but... Karkat was just doing that to show him. Holy shit, that's what those little squiggly lines were on the drawing, wasn't it? That... bonebulge. Didn't the girl have that too?

Oh god. He was such an idiot. Were troll sexes perhaps a little more similar than human sexes? If the girls also had a bonebulge... that would explain why Karkat had a v- er, a nook.

It wasn't _that_ otherworldly. There were animals like that on earth, right? And animals with weird... okay, he didn't need to think about the biology courses he took at the academy that showcased animal junk. But the point was, there had to be animals on earth with freakier stuff down south.

Poor Karkat was just trying to show John _he wasn't a girl_. God, now he felt like a douche. "Karkat," He spoke tentatively, placing a hand on the troll's shoulder. "Karkat is boy. Okay. Is okay?"

He'd spent the entire awkward time trying to prove to John that he was a boy and now that the other boy finally was agreeing? It was hard to care. He made himself do it anyway. Bolstered himself, shoved away shame of how mutant and disgusting he was... not just to other trolls but to other beings as well (even though logic told him that John probably would have reacted the same way to any other troll who tried showing him what was beneath their pants). He gave a nod, letting out a shaky breath but refusing to turn over.

"Yes. Okay. Fine. Thank you for finally getting your head out of your waste chute and seeing the truth, god fucking damn it."

He was pretty sure the strain was out of his voice. He glowered over his shoulder at John for good measure. He had to make sure John didn't get it into his head that he was some _weakling_ as well as weird.

John just blinked when Karkat glared at him, and he offered a tiny smile in return, hopeful. That was more like the Karkat he knew! Gosh, he just didn't know trolls were _that_ different.

"Different." John said quietly, a little amused, trying to bring some levity to the situation. "Trolls, different! Is fun." No wait, that wasn't the right word. "Is interesting. Also okay! Karkat is okay."

With a sigh Karkat rolled over onto his back, one hand curled on his chest, the other lain out beside him as he glanced over at John. For a moment the scowl was gone and he just gave an understanding nod. They at least had gotten their message to each other across. Karkat didn't have any visuals but he was pretty sure by now that female humans probably didn't have what John had, probably something like a nook and _definitely_ not a bone bulge.

"Very different." He couldn't help the glance towards John's crotch that he gave, quickly looking away and going stiff. God he hoped John didn't notice he'd just looked there. He couldn't help the curiosity but he was certainly _not_ going to ask the human to show him what he had in more detail. He'd seen it. That was enough. He'd also seen enough the way John acted when he was bare.

John looked away, another faint blush rising to his cheeks. Yeah, he caught the glance Karkat threw at the area they had been spending so much time on lately. Though the eyes on such a personal area made his chest clench unpleasantly, it wasn't quite the same as... as before, back in the slave trade.

"Um!" He began making ambiguous motions with his hands, like he was trying to piece something together. "Humans different also. Uhh... girls, nooks. Boys, bonebulge. One, not two." God, how the fuck does he even explain this with his painfully limited vocabulary? "One only."

Karkat nodded slowly, his nose scrunched up in a slightly distracted look of confusion and consideration.

"That's..." He tried to find a proper word for it but could only come up with, " _Weird_. Sorry." He gave a short laugh, feeling a little more of the tension that had remained from just moments ago relax a little. "Only having one is weird. Where do you--you know?" He made a strange gesture, curling his thumb and middle fingers together of both hands, then using the index of the opposite to pierce the hole he'd made.

"How do you. How do you get anything from that? And where does the girl's genetic material go? Just. Straight into the bucket?" God, wouldn't that just be as bad as doing it by yourself? He suddenly felt a pang of sympathy for John and his species. How the fuck was copulation any kind of enjoyable experience? It seemed like in some way both parties were not getting much of anything. The males didn't have a nook and probably didn't get much stimulation out of it and girl's seemed to just... release their material straight into a bucket, which didn't seem any better than just doing shit by yourself, honestly.

John tilted his head a bit as he watched Karkat move his hands, doing his best to keep up with whatever it was he was saying. He looked a bit uncomfortable still, yeah, but also a little intrigued. And he didn't feel like he needed to hide it quite as much when Karkat began expressing an interest as well. They were both aliens to each other, so of course it would be hard to ignore that curiosity.

"Girl." He raised a hand, mirroring Karkat's two fingers. He hoped he got Karkat's question right at least. "Boy." He raised the finger of his other hand, and but them together in a similar fashion. "Trolls different?"

"Well yeah." He shuffled around, sitting up more and bringing his hands together, trying to work his fingers together in a way to properly express what happened. "Like this and then. The bucket is. Fuck. Here." He pushed himself up onto his knees, moving closer to John and reaching out to grab him by the shoulders and get him to kneel.

He was too engrossed in showing John how it was done to realize how intimately he was positioning them. He scooted in closer, so close their bodies were almost touching, and dropped his hands down to hold at John's waist, positioning his hips to be right in front of his. "Like this. Then the..." He flushed a little, faltering at the word. God, telling John about buckets was almost more embarrassing than flat out showing him his nook and bulge. "The buckets down here to catch the material."

Looking up he realized how close they were together, their heads mutually bowed to look at what Karkat was trying to show. He flushed, licking his lower lip and glancing back down again before John might look back up at him. This wasn't any big deal. They were just trying to learn from each other and now that they were passed the whole.. stubbornly refusing to understand thing it didn't have to be awkward.

"How do humans do it?"

John's brows furrowed. "Bucket"? Okay, fun new word. Not that he knew what it meant. Apparently it went between two people... and it was something sexual? Karkat went from doing that motion with his hand to this...

"Bucket? Don't understand." He shook his head, not quite as skittish this close to Karkat with both their clothes completely on their person now. "Humans? Um..." He repeated the finger-in-between-two-fingers thing. "Humans, no bucket." At least, he was pretty sure.

Karkat just shook his head. "Weird." He repeated. He let go of John's hips, guiltily realizing he'd been holding them for longer than he needed to, and sat back on his heels, shrugging as he looked up at John who was for once taller than him like this. "How do you do it without a bucket, though? Do you just. Have to throw away your fucking furniture constantly?"

John looked lost again, biting his lip in thought as he tried to make heads and tails of just what Karkat was asking. "Um... what is bucket? Don't understand."

Karkat reached up to run both hands through his hair, making a low, half embarrassed, half frustrated sound in the back of his throat before he dropped them again and slid off the edge of the bed. He made sure not to look back over his shoulder as he padded barefoot and clad only in boxers to his closet, practically crawling in he had to go so far back and finally pulling out something from beneath a stack of blankets and clothes. He was sure to leave at least one blanket draped over it as he half turned to show John.

He cleared his throat and flipped up a bit of the fabric, showing the edge of something metallic and rounded before dropping it back over again. "Bucket." He shoved it back in, he'd have to make sure it was crammed all the way in the back later.

The human widened his eyes a bit when the troll flashed the... what was it again? He couldn't quite see. Without giving Karkat any sort of warning, he got up on his feet and walked over. He didn't really know what to ask, so he didn't say anything. He was putting it away? But he didn't even get to see it!

"This, bucket?" He asked, before he reached in past Karkat's arm, and grabbed the metal thing peeking out from under the cloth. He pulled it out, taking a look at it, half-expecting some sort of alien torture device-looking thing, but... this was just an ordinary bucket! Oh hey, it had Karkat's indigo symbol on it, really tiny near the rim. Well, this was uneventful.

Maybe what Karkat was trying to show him was inside? He turned the bucket a bit, peering inside to find a whole fat load of nothing. Weird.

Beside John, Karkat's mind and body were at war. His brain wanted to shut down. Turn off. He did not want to register that the John human was handling his bucket. His body, without a doubt, did register it. He swallowed hard as he watched those long, slender fingers flatten out against the sides as he pressed his palms against it, watched him tip it this way and that. Oh god did he just trace his insignia with his fingertip?

And then he tipped it forwards and looked inside.

Karkat made a faint, strained sound almost like a whimper. His breathing picked up slightly and his eyes slid to half mast. John was handling his bucket and fuck, he never thought he'd ever see anyone touch it other than his own hands. The soft, alien beauty of the human came into sharp focus. His hair was messy and black, probably the most trollish feature about him. His face was rounded and soft where Karkat's was sharp and angular, he didn't have any horns, his teeth were even blunt but those hands. They were so...

With another strangled sound Karkat reached out and tore the bucket from John's grasp. He tossed it towards the closet, a bad move as the clattering sound only made him react again with a quavering chirp. He smacked a hand over his mouth, for a moment staring at John before whirling around on his heel and stomping back over towards the bed. Calm down. Jesus fuck he needed to calm down. Karkat sat down hard on the bed, trying to catch his breath and stop the hammering of his heart.

"What are you staring at, asshole?" His voice wasn't as sharp as he wanted it to be as he snapped at John.

The only thing John could do was blink. What... what just happened? He looked back at the closet, now tightly shut, where Karkat had thrown the bucket like it was made of fucking lava and having John hold it any longer would scald his hands right off his wrists. That was a "bucket", right? It was so ordinary, so why did-

Oh wait. The motion Karkat made when he was pretending to place an imaginary bucket between them. It was sexual? Ew, what did trolls do with it? Maybe there was more to their crazy genitals than he originally thought. Maybe something comes out and falls? Maybe they get pregnant instantly and give birth and they need something to catch the baby with?

His ideas were getting farther and farther out there, he had to stop or else he'd start laughing. Poor Karkat looked like he wanted to curl up and die or something! And his words kind of wavered, like he was really caught off guard there. But the only thing John could deduce was that the "bucket" was not something someone touched so casually.

"Sorry!" He still couldn't help but grin with the apology. He walked back over to the bed, not really ready to sit back down just yet. "That, bucket? Humans, no bucket. Trolls weird! Hehe."

"Your face is weird." Karkat shot back, his voice still quavering slightly. He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, shifting slightly. His nook ached with pressure from his bulge. Before he'd needed to coax it out himself but now it was threatening to slide out fully all on it's own and all because John had to go and be his touchy, grabby self.

"I get it, no bucket." He needed to change the subject. "Anyway you should talk, you're the weird one. Where does a bulge go for _you_ if you don't have a nook?" Perhaps his mind was clouded with his own lust at the moment, spurning his question in that particular direction.

It took him a few moments for the question to click. John blushed and looked down at the ground, and he began fiddling with his fingers like a nervous child.

"No nook. Don't know...." Fuck, this was entirely too complicated to explain. Now he knew why Karkat got fed up and just dropped his pants. Not that John would ever resort to that.

He bit his lip and recovered the notebook and pen from the floor, and began to scribble something. Something that lasted longer than the drawings of the male and female humans. Something than he obviously wasn't happy with, the way he cringed and scratched over it furiously. Another attempt, and that didn't seem very fruitful either.

He couldn't believe he was even entertaining the idea of showing Karkat. Those times the troll saw him naked before... he didn't even want to think about it. He wasn't going to go there.

All he knew is that Karkat put himself on display because of John's stupidity. Okay, it wasn't stupid, but it was kind of partially his fault. He kind of owed that to Karkat, didn't he? And besides, they both seemed pretty curious. There really wasn't any harm in it, right? He trusted Karkat, actually a lot more than he would trust some of his friends back home. One of those friends actually told him about an old cliche of little kids and the "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" deal, and John never had it happen to him. Except now, it's happening at such a late age, in front of an alien.

He was a scientist. That's what John's going to leave it at. Scientific curiosity.

"Um..." He set the notebook back down, before his hands slowly moved to loop a few fingers at the waistband of his pants. "I see you, so..." He blushed fainted. "You see me?"

Karkat's eyes widened and he leaned back, though not out of revulsion. More out of surprise. He tried not to let his breath hitch, and it especially didn't do it because of the way John blushed the same red color as he did. Or the way his fingers looped at his pants and he looked at Karkat with such shyness.

He nodded dumbly, then reached out, touching John's shoulder. "Wait." He chewed his lip and looked at John's face. "You don't have to. Only if it's okay." He made sure to be clear. He didn't want John to show him anything he wasn't okay with, regardless of how hot he was feeling at the moment.

John didn't tense when Karkat placed his hand on his shoulder. In fact it was weird to him, how calm he felt at the moment. Sure, he was embarrassed, but there was a sort of budding excitement that seemed to keep all those unpleasant memories at bay. He was eager to learn more about Karkat; and Karkat was probably the same way, too! It was kind of like this adventure they were both traversing together. A really embarrassing adventure, but that kind of made it more exciting? John wondered for a moment if he was turning into some sort of pervert.

No, no he's not, because he's not excited in _that_ way. Stupid, stupid, dumb emotions. Sometimes they're so hard to read, even when they're you're own.

"Is okay." John offered a small smile, still blushing, but he didn't seem scared like he did this morning. "Want to know Karkat. Karkat want to know me, right?"

Karkat sat back, his eyes wide and round as John spoke. He nodded mutely, then managed a, "Yeah. I want to know." in a voice huskier than he would have liked. He tried giving John the privacy of not looking while he undid his pants, glancing over in time to watch him kick them away and stand there with his lip between his teeth and his face red, red, red.

The boy had already began to unfasten the button on his pants, two fingers hooking into the loops where his belt would be if he ever wore one. He slid the garment down, letting it fall past his knees, and pool at his ankles. He kicked it away, his movement just slow enough to where they almost seemed... lewd. Like he was giving Karkat a strip tease. But the way he bit his lip in concentration, cheeks flushed and eyes darting away with a nervous glance, told that he was just hesitant. Eager, but still hesitant.

A part of Karkat hated the way his heart was starting to beat a bit faster, but he couldn't help that! John had just been fondling a bucket, for god's sake, it wasn't his fault he'd had a visceral reaction to it. He watched the human carefully, eyes flicking from his face down to where the hem of Karkat's shirt, too large for the shorter human, covered him... but only just. The sight of John standing there, dressed in just his insignia and that collar around his neck...

Karkat swallowed, shifting to sit further back on the bed and wiping his palms on the comforter. He tried not to look too much like he was inexplicably turned the fuck on and more fascinated in the physical difference between their bodies.

Once the boxers were gone, John instinctively grabbed the hem of the large shirt and tugged it down to cover his private parts, looking up at Karkat. He saw the troll glance at him a few times, but for the most part, he appeared to try his best at being a gentleman. Not that it should even matter, because he stripped for the sole purpose of showing the troll in the first place.

"Um," He bit his lip again, chewing it as he lifted the shirt up just a bit, one foot brushing over the other in a timid fashion. "No nook. See?"

He tried only looking by giving a few brief glances down but honestly that just wasn't enough. Finally he sucked in a breath and just... looked. All he saw was the same, single bulge, floppy and small, laying against the strange, fleshy bag. Karkat tilted his head a little, hunching down as though trying to look under further to see where things connected, where a nook might be.

Finally he just pointed towards the waddle, brows quirked up in confusion. "What is that?"

"Ah! Er..." John had to fight the urge to cover himself with his hands, face burning an even deeper red now. "Just... boy pieces!" God, he knew Karkat was considerate and at least told John what his junk was called, but the human boy couldn't find the courage to do it himself. It felt dirtier somehow, it was too embarrassing!

Karkat nodded, still looking John's anatomy over. He rub his thumb over his lower lip in thought, finally letting his eyes flick back up to look at John in honest confusion. "So. If there's no bucket, what do you do? How does it work?" The concept of not having any bucket at all was... confusing. It was like an essential step that was just suddenly cut right out of the picture.

"No bucket?" John averted his eyes, unable to calm himself while watching Karkat _look_ at him like that. And... how was he supposed to know what's different when there's no bucket involved? He still didn't really know what the thing was for.

He brought his hands up, once again sliding an index finger between two others in the crude simulation of intercourse. "Boy and girl. After that, grubs."

Of all the things, he at least understood the unspoken concept of 'something happens and then offspring.' It didn't really cross his mind to think that perhaps humans did not have a Mother Grub that produced all kin. He leaned forward, confident in the knowledge that he wasn't being a perverse creep as he really looked at John's anatomy. His bulge was just as delicate looking as his own, soft and strangely wrinkled. It was a bit unappealing, small, and completely still. That really weirded him out that it just laid there.

It flared out interestingly near the tip, though, and stayed about the same in width along the entire length. The 'boy piece' that hung beneath them, Karkat decided, was probably just there to identify John as male, which made enough sense. There were plenty of species of creatures that differed in color to signify gender, and anatomy was no exception.

John swallowed nervously, tensing when Karkat leaned in a bit closer to get a better look. He... he didn't stare _this_ intently when Karkat was the one to drop his pants earlier, did he? Actually, come to think of it, he didn't get that much of a good look, considering the way he reacted the second he saw Karkat's... er, bonebulge? He just sort of freaked out and began wondering _why something like that was there._

"Karkat," He mumbled, once against grabbing the hem of the large shirt and attempting to pull it down to cover himself. "Only me naked. Not fair." He felt his cheeks burn darker, and his gaze fell to the ground shyly.

"Wh-? Oh." Karkat was pulled away from looking so earnestly at John when the other boy tugged the shirt down to cover himself awkwardly. He looked at the human sidelong, worrying at his lower lip before giving a slight shrug of his shoulders. He scooted back on the bed, leaving the space open for John to sit back down on it if he wanted to. Karkat brought his knees up, tucking his thumbs beneath the hem of his boxers and pausing. "Alright but. It's _not_ weird. So..."

He took a deep breath and tugged the garment down again, stopping at mid-thigh. He let his knees hang over the edge of the bed as he looked away. The more technical discussion over reproduction and how things worked had done it's job, he'd started to calm down. All Karkat had to do now was make sure he didn't think about the way John had looked, holding his bucket against his chest, his fingers pressed against the metal and looking into it.

Karkat grit his teeth, closing his eyes shut tightly as he felt his bulge beginning to slip out. He moved his hand down to slide his fingers to either side again, hoping that John wouldn't catch on too well to his anatomy that he didn't have to press to coax it out this time.

This time, John was well prepared for seeing the unearthly appendage slip out from between Karkat's gray fingers. Now that he wasn't cringing back in grim surprise, it wasn't exactly that creepy looking. Though he was pretty sure he might have seen something quite similar on those anime image boards he perused once in a blue moon. The ones that Dave ironically found sexy, but John was pretty sure it wasn't as ironic as his friend tried to let on.

Without thinking much of it, John took a few steps forward and got down on his knees, watching as the wriggling appendage _moved_ once it curled over to the back of Karkat's hand. This was crazy, but he couldn't tear his eyes away. Were trolls all truly hermaphroditic? No matter how he looked at it, the "nook" looked too much like... er... he needed to stop thinking about that, or this was going to get more awkward than it already was.

There seemed to be the tiniest bit of sheen now on the delicate folds of the troll's skin, tinted a pale red. Was that normal? Or was.... He found himself swallowing again with the rather intimidating thought of Karkat... beginning to get a little aroused. Or maybe that was normal? No, he was pretty sure Karkat never soaked his pants the entire time he's been here.

Though he thought he had his wandering mind under control, John awkwardly moved his hands to face palm-flat against the ground, arms trying to cover his crotch once he realized he might be a little affected by the show, too. He licked his lips absently, still staring intently at the scene Karkat spread before him.

Karkat was trying as hard as he could to convince himself that he was not sliding out even further, his bulge was not becoming fully unsheathed just because John was watching him. It was because he had his hand down there and that wasn't making matters any better. He slid his hand away, realizing that his fingers were sticky and wet as his nook and bulge began to produce the necessary lubricant to make intercourse easier.

He was getting wet. Fuck he was getting wet and John was sitting down there, watching like it wasn't anything. He needed to figure out some way to abort this situation, back out, get an excuse to hike his boxers back up and go back to the hygiene block for a cold shower or something? He shifted a little, leaning forward partially and biting his lip as his bulge curled against his stomach, then forward over his thigh, seeking a nook or - as Karkat was used to - a hand, or something nook-like. It left a faintly pink trail over his gray skin.

With an inward groan of dread he risked a glance towards John, expecting fully for the human to be staring in disgust and horror like he had been just moments before. He hadn't expected John to be looking... well it must have been the same way he'd been looking at John. It sent a little shiver through him and he had to clear his throat to cover up any other sound he might have been about to make. His voice was a bit huskier than he would have liked when he spoke, brows furrowed. "So. Yeah."

Blue eyes looked up once Karkat coughed, catching the rather... different expression on Karkat's face. He stared for a moment, because obviously, he'd never seen the troll make _that_ kind of a face before. And his voice was just a bit different. John was young, but he wasn't so young that he was stupid. Karkat was already beginning to show signs of arousal, so that _look_ and his _voice_ just sealed the deal.

It was weird. John had even had nightmares a few times about being in situations like this ever since the slave trade, but right now... what used to be an unpleasant knot of anxiety in his chest had moved south, becoming a warm pool of heat at the bottom of his stomach. He was getting a little excited - this time, in both senses of the word. A part of him felt ashamed and terrified, but the overwhelming part of him just felt _eager_.

He outstretched a hand, slowly, timidly, like he wasn't even sure of what he was doing. If Karkat reacted badly, he'd just chalk it up to curiosity, pull his pants back up, and they'd go about their daily lives like this never happened. Because with the way Karkat had seen him react just by being seen naked, there was no way the troll would go out on a limb and do this himself, even if he was just as curious as John was.

The pad of his index finger brushed the side of the semi-slick bulge, voice catching in his throat at the smooth texture. It was almost like feeling the underbelly of a snake, feeling something that was just pure muscle, moving. The organ reacted immediately at the warm touch, twisting to curl towards his hand.

Karkat's own breath hitched at the unexpected contact. He'd even watched as John reached out towards him, even though dully in the back of his mind he'd though. 'Oh my god Mister Grabby-Hands is going to touch, isn't he.', he was _still_ taken off guard. Perhaps it was the surprising softness of that one touch. John had no idea how embarrassing and complicated he'd just made things.

A hectic flush made Karkat's cheeks, neck, and chest red as his bulge coiled between John's fingers, pressing down against the webbing between them. It had gotten slicker the moment John had made contact, sliding over his hand and curling around his wrist to press into his palm. Karkat's eyes slid half closed, mouth half open in blind lust. A soft chirp of pleasure escaped him before he could clamp a hand over his lips, looking down at John with widened eyes.

The troll was torn between wanting to clawing his face for getting handsy and pressing into his hand. Oh god this wasn't fair at all. He'd been the one to lose his cool and get _excited_ over the alien genitals lesson. His face burned with in embarrassment over that as much as it was over the fact that this was even happening in the first place. Finally he found his voice, thick and strained. "Sh...Shit. John, what the fuck d-hoo! Do you think your doing."

John was no where near being able to pay attention to anything coming out of Karkat's mouth, because every ounce of his concentration was now at the tentacle wrapping around his hand. Pulsing. Writhing. Leaving a faint slick trail of that _something_ that's tinted a faint red, and it felt really lewd, and what the hell was he thinking, he was touching Karkat's junk, of _course_ it's lewd.

He felt his breath hitch at the bulge gripped harder, smooth skin sliding over his fingers in an erotic dance. John couldn't help it now, there was no way Karkat wasn't going to notice the way his cheeks were now permanently flushed, how his breath became slightly heavier. This was so overstepping any and all friendship boundaries they had, but... Karkat hadn't pushed him away, right? He was still kind of curious as to how-

Oh god, no, he'd gone too far. It was as if Karkat's skin had burned him the way he quickly retreated his hand, both moving to grab the hem of his shirt and cover himself once more in a desperate attempt to hide himself. Shit, he couldn't even grab his under-things without Karkat seeing his... Jesus Christ, he was getting an erection. The way it started to press against his fingers through the fabric of Karkat's oversized shirt, it was going to be painfully obvious. He froze, feeling like a deer caught in headlights. He didn't dare look up at the troll now.

Karkat hissed, left reeling by the sudden change from pleasure to discomfort barely edging the line of painful when John jerked his hand away. He hadn't been really paying attention to the human, too busy trying to look everywhere _but_ at John and what he was doing. Glancing down now he caught the way the human stared intently at the floor looking guilty and uncomfortable. Maybe even a little afraid. God Karkat hoped he wasn't afraid.

"What..." He grit his teeth as his bulge curled ineffectively against his stomach, leaning forward to try and understand what the fuck had made John suddenly change his mind and curl in on himself. His hands were gripped tightly at the hem of his shirt, held down and his face was a shade of red Karkat wasn't sure even he could manage, and-

 _Oh_.

It clicked. John was having his own physical reaction to... to all of this. For a second Karkat felt a rush of _want_. He wasn't sure about John but _he_ was at an age where hormones were a rampant thing, making trolls crazy as they sought out to fill multiple quadrants so they could be prepared for the Imperial Drones. They were... well they weren't enemies. John was a human so it wasn't exactly like Karkat could fill a quadrant with him but. 'But a little curious exploration couldn't hurt.'

He hated himself almost immediately after thinking that. God, John was scarred enough as it was from whatever it'd been the slavers had done to him when he'd first been captured and enslaved. How long had he been kept like that again? Two weeks? Three? He couldn't remember. It'd taken a long time before John stopped acting skittish around him and now he was considering something that could ruin that completely. Karkat struggled with the pressing urge of lust and arousal and his moral decency.

"John. Shit, John, look at me." He took in a deep breath, ran a shaking hand through his hair and did his best to cover himself with a hand hovering over his bulge and out of reach. "It's okay." And then he just sat there, looking at him. Because he didn't know what else to say. His own breath still came out in faint puffs as he sat tensely. He realized he was staring and turned his head to the side, eyes screwing shut so that John could get up and leave, give him some decency.

_It's okay._

Karkat's words resonated in him, and with that, John looked up expectantly, only to see the troll averting his gaze despite his rather uncomfortable posture. That look on his face... Karkat wasn't guilty about this, was he? No, no, no - he shouldn't be! Besides, it was never Karkat that made him uncomfortable, it was his own damn body that decided his nether regions were going to have a mind of their own tonight.

John took in a small breath and he leaned up on his knees, pushing his legs together a bit in an attempt to hide his arousal. He rested a hand on Karkat's leg, though not so far up it would be pushing any private boundaries - not that he didn't just have his hand on his _junk_ just a moment ago, but you know. He let out a tiny sound before breathing out, willing his voice to work for just one god damn minute.

"Karkat?" He bit his lip, looking up at him with an expression drowning in worry. "Karkat, is okay. Sorry, I..." But he didn't know enough in Alternian to say it. ‘I'm sorry I made you upset. I'm sorry I got a really inappropriate hormonal boner. I'm sorry I totally went out of line there and invaded your private space, and it was really horrible of me, and god Karkat I'm sorry, don't look like that.’ "Not Karkat's fault." He breathed.

He found himself looking down into blue, blue eyes when he turned at the touch to his leg. He hadn't expected it, rather he'd been waiting for the shuffle of John to get up and abscond the fuck out of there because Karkat had gone and made things uncomfortable like an asshole. Instead it was those quavering eyes that were the most unnerving shade of blue ever. It was so weird, knowing that he bled red.

John’s voice was so soft and tight, and that definitely wasn't fear, thank god. Not that the sorrowful one he had instead was any better. Karkat felt his throat choke up, lips pressing together as John struggled to tell him that it was okay. He was forgiving him, acting like it was his fault and looking like he'd killed someone's lusus.

Karkat didn't even realize it was pity that was flooding him as he leaned down, reaching out to pet the soft, black hair from John's face and pressing a kiss to his forehead. He froze, realizing with the shock of a suddenly clear mind what he'd just done and he teetered back, already scrambling around in his mind for an excuse as to why that had just been a thing he'd done, but the look that John had wasn't one of disgust.

Surprise, yes; perhaps even taken aback, but nothing akin to appalled. Wide eyes watched as Karkat leaned back, and all John could think about what how _sincere_ that felt. For a moment John began to lift a hand, almost wanting to touch his forehead to make sure that really happened because there was no way in hell he was expecting that sort of affection. Sure, he and Karkat had gotten close over the past few weeks, even to the point of sharing a blanket while watching a movie. Maybe even getting comfortable enough to lean on each other. There was that one time John woke up crying so badly, Karkat nearly broke his neck getting out of his recuperacoon; and once he was sure John was calm, he took a quick rinse in the shower then came over to sit beside John on his bed.

They were close, there was no denying it. Truth be told, John had often thought about, maybe what it would be like if they were even closer. _Sex_ with Karkat rarely entered his mind, but a hormonal thirteen year old left alone with his thoughts for too long often lead to places he'd never dare touch. After all, what would they do if they were closer, anyway? Hold hands? John had already done that a few times, though it was painfully obvious it had been a nervous habit. Hug? They've probably done that even more. Kiss?

Well, he'd just done that now--sort of--and John was halfway to scared because he _liked_ it.

When Karkat looked at John like he had just done the worst thing imaginable to the human boy, John didn't leave him much time to think. _I care about you_. He whispered in his mind, because he didn't know the right words in Alternian for something so heartfelt. _I care about you. You make me feel safe. I always want to be with you._ He closed his eyes, and his lips pressed gently on Karkat's cheek, slow and meaningful. He felt his heart pound hard inside his chest, but as he pulled away he made sure to look at the troll directly in those entrancing black and yellow eyes, as if to say _I meant that_ with every fiber of his being.

For an achingly long time Karkat was still, everything was quiet. He was caught up looking into John's face and the open, honest, earnest emotion that was there. Then he remembered he needed to breath and let out the air he'd been holding with a shaky sigh. He slid forward further, shoving the unsure, self-doubting hisses that were roiling within him to the back of his mind and just did what he wanted to. What felt right.

It felt right to reach out and wonderingly touch John's cheek, spread his fingers until his pinkie brushed against the curve of his neck. His eyes wandered from John's eyes to his forehead where he'd just kissed him, down to his lips (which made him nervously lick his own). He half curled in on himself, the electrified jolt from that stupid, simple kiss on his cheek made his bulge only more persistent in it's search for something to curl around again. God Karkat wished John would... move his hand...

Maybe it had been because he'd been thinking about his own bulge, maybe it had been something else, either way Karkat's gaze flickered down towards John's own groin again, remembering what he'd looked like when he'd so openly shown himself to Karkat. He meant to look away again just as quick but the sight of John's hands pressing down over an obvious shape through his shirt caught his attention, and the way his knees were almost pressed together as though that might hide it.

A renewed heat rolled through him and he looked up at John's face. God he wanted to--to reach out and touch. Explore, lift the hem of that shirt up and look at him again. The desire formed knots in his stomach as he licked his lips again, face flushed.

"John." He breathed the human's name, tilting his head slightly and managing a faint grin. Oh god oh god. This was going to be the wrong move. He was just waiting for John to run away sobbing or something. He was going to scar him all over again but shit he couldn't _stop_ himself. It was like it wasn't even his own voice that he heard. "You too?"

He understood the simple question, though it could have been taken any number of ways, but as he sat there, eyes shifting downwards in a short lapse of embarrassment, he found he couldn't really say _no_ to any of those. So he simply nodded his head, looking back up at Karkat to see how he reacted.

The way he had touched his cheek, the way the troll gazed at him after the tiny kiss, he was sure he already knew where Karkat stood. Here they were, practically half hard (or half... whatever synonym would be used for a bonebulge) after a seemingly innocent scientific curiosity, and now John was feeling things he never dreamed of feeling before.

It was new, exciting, and though a part of him felt scared, he was confident it wasn't going to be something he regretted. He trusted Karkat probably more than anyone else in his life by now.

If anything, this was just a mutual, now slightly sexual experiment. John would worry about if the latter would make him disappointed, later. Right now, there was a silent agreement between them. That everything was alright, and they both had the same things on their minds.

John bit in the inside of his lip again, and he looked down, sliding his hand up Karkat's leg in a timid manner. Dull human fingernails scraped lightly against Karkat's tougher troll skin, until the pads of his fingers ghosted on the inside of his thigh, and trailed against the base of the still writhing unsheathed bonebulge. He didn't even care to hide his own arousal anymore. He knew it would probably be weird to Karkat, but they're both in the same boat now anyhow.

A low hum escaped him as John's hand slid up his leg, making him fall back slightly, hesitantly shift to the side so that the human could better touch and feel. His hand roamed from John's cheek down over his neck, dangerous claws tracing over delicate, sensitive skin. From the beginning Karkat had learned that John was frail, delicate, small and soft. He'd become something for Karkat to protect and guard without him even realizing it. The hive had been John-proofed and precautions had been made so that if anyone ever came knocking (not that they did) the human boy would have a safe and secure place to be until they left.

A brush of John's fingertips further up his thigh brought him almost in contact with his bulge as it curled towards his fingertips, leaking pinkish fluid over his hip and onto the bed. Karkat flushed in embarrassment, fuck he was making a mess. John would think he was disgusting but it wasn't really anything he could help. Distantly he realized he was being an ass and over-thinking every little detail.

With a huff of breath his hand moved down further, over John's shoulder, the other reaching out to him as well and catching into the fabric of his shirt. Karkat tugged, not wanting to physically yank him up onto the bed beside him but making sure that John could understand the body language. "Up...?"

John blinked, looked nervous for a moment, then nodded shyly in reply. Though of course, he didn't quite get the message - he thought the "up" was for his shirt, not him. And so, the human boy reached down, hooked his fingers into the hem of the shirt, and pulled it up. It mussed up his hair a bit when he shed it completely, leaving it to fall to the side of the bed.

At least he was in a similar train of thought as the troll. After the shirt was gone, he shifted his arms around a bit, still looking a bit overwhelmed that he was _naked_ , naked like the days he was in the slave trade, but with a heavy breath, both audible and visible, he lifted a hand, fingers brushing over the metallic part of his collar. His eyes nearly fell shut as he concentrated on the way the material fit snug around his neck, though never uncomfortably so. It was always there, but never obtrusive. The way the small metal ring tapped against the clasp somehow calmed him. No, he wasn't as bare as he was in the slave trade. He had Karkat, he had the troll's mark on him. It covered a feeble amount of skin in comparison to his clothes, but it was enough. It was something he found comfort in.

After that, he rose to his feet, sliding one knee on the bed just beside Karkat, his posture still showing how timid he was, how he still attempted to hide himself in front of the troll before him. But at least he didn't freak out when he found out there wasn't a way to hide anymore. His half hard erection was now plainly visible to Karkat, as well as the flushed skin everywhere else on John's body.

" _John_." The sigh that escaped Karkats mouth was almost... reverent.

His fingers twitched at his sides, having let them drop when John had taken off his shirt, wanting to reach out and touch him. Feel how soft and warm his skin was. The absurd desire to trace his thumb over the ridge of John's hip bone was almost overwhelming. He pulled back a moment, tearing his gaze away as he shoved his boxers the rest of the way off and tugged his sweater up over his head. There, now they were equally bare... almost. Almost equally bare.

Instead of touching at John's hip he reached out for his face again. This was safe ground, at least, John had yet to flinch away from his hand when he reached for him. He ran a fingertip over the collar, brows pushed upwards. He hated forcing John to wear this, he knew the human hated it. The way he'd lingered over it himself was more than enough proof that it was an ugly reminder for the fact that he was supposed to be a slave, and was viewed by a slave as everyone else.

Except Karkat. He wasn't sure when it'd happened but he realized that he'd grown to view John as an equal. Not some brainless, half-intelligent creature but a fully cognizant alien species. He chased that train of thought away again, letting his hand fall away from the collar to very, very tentatively rest on John's knee. Karkat flicked a glance up towards his face, then let himself look over the rest of his body.

This was the first time he really had an opportunity to look at John. Tense and ready to pull or look away at any negative signal he let his gaze roam down his chest, stopped almost immediately in his perusal by the two dark spots of flesh on each of the human's pectorals. He gave a questioning sound and reached out to rest his palm against John's ribs, thumb brushing up to run over the patch of flesh curiously. "Are these markings?"

The only reply Karkat got was muscles tensing - and suddenly John seemed frozen, until he let out a ragged breath, eyes closed and fingers digging into the comforter beside him. He didn't understand the question; he knew Karkat was inquiring what something was, but oh... wow, that was a new sensation. He never realized those could be so _sensitive_.

The way Karkat's hands were moving against his skin. The way he had caressed his cheek, the way his fingers lingered over his neck and collar (gosh, he felt his heart skip a beat when he heard his claws against the metal clasp), the way he moved his hands so tenderly made John curl his toes and utter a tiny, unbidden whimper. He had no idea how far this was all going to go, but, god. He didn't want it to stop. It was both arousing and incredibly comforting, like the few times Karkat had patted his head for an extended period of time. He vaguely remembered one night after a movie marathon, the troll did that as John fell asleep, feeling those dangerous claws thread so carefully in his hair.

If he couldn't find the right words before, he was far beyond being articulate now. The only thing he could think of to say was a whispered version of the troll's name.

It was all the encouragement he needed. Whatever it was, it was sensitive, and he brushed the pad of his thumb over them again. Again a surge of desire made him feel like he was burning up inside. He wanted to push John back, press him against the bed, make him make those sounds again. Karkat told himself over and over again that it was just hormones and this was completely casual and mutual. Of course it was exciting; they were touching each others bodies.

Karkat tried to breath evenly, but he couldn't hide the ashen red flush that was too bright to be normal that spread across his own body, working down his chest and further. His bulge curled against his stomach achingly, the dull pulse of blood through it and his nook bringing a breathy, almost groan from him. He let his hand sweep down John's side, hesitating just a fraction of a moment before finally convincing himself that John would let him know if something wasn't okay.

He leaned in closer, needing to feel John as near as possible as he shifted, palm pressing down against his hip and rubbing his fingers over the jut of bone. He trained his gaze down again, giving a vague sound as he saw John's bulge. It was bigger... and it had seemed to have moved. He watched, his other hand coming up to rest on the opposite side of John's thigh as he knelt in front of him, taller than him once again. Karkat licked his lips, eyes half going half lidded as he slowly dipped his fingers down towards John's inner thigh, breath coming faster despite all his efforts to keep it calm.

John couldn't help it - the noise he made when Karkat's fingers brushed the sensitive skin, he released a tiny moan, louder than before. His arms started feeling a little weak, and he resigned to leaning back on his elbows, before even that became too much and he laid the upper half of his body on his side, the lower half on his back. In such a position, he was entirely on display. Vulnerable, and it didn't seem to bother him in the slightest. He continued to grip the comforter like it was going to help him brace against the onslaught of arousing touches, and his breath became just a hint louder. One knee raised up to brush the side of his own leg, before lowering back down, in a bit of a nervous gesture.

Oh god, Karkat's hands were so close. So, so close. It amazed him how much he wanted to the troll to touch him. He wanted to feel his cool fingers on the overheated skin, he wanted to feel his sharp claws trace his flesh in the same gentle manner as he had before. The boy clenched his eyes shut, curling his body in towards the troll just a bit as he released a sigh. For a moment he thought to himself that he wanted to touch Karkat also - to feel those weird things on his sides that he found are some sort of residual grub-legs back when he pupated. He wanted to trace the shell of those elongated ears, to know every part of that familiar yet alien body. But all he could do right now was breath raggedly, on a complete sensory overdose.

Karkat watched, mesmerized as John did all of this. Finally he pressed forward, unable to keep himself reserved any longer. Everything about John's body language was open and inviting. He wasn't hesitating, maybe nervous and shy but who the fuck wouldn't be? Karkat had been, when John had first touched.

Wetting his lips he took the groan as encouragement and rubbed his palms up along John's legs, settling down a bit further to be comfortable between them. His bulge curled ignored into the folds of the comforter as Karkat leaned forward, finally bringing his hand up to brush against the side of John's bulge. It wasn't anything like touching his own. It was rigid, hard, like a muscle that was tensed. Carefully he ran his fingers up along the length, the pads of his fingertips catching at the ridge at the tip and feeling along the underside of it curiously.

His breath puffed against John's hip as he wrapped his hand around the width of John's bulge and held it, trapping it against his fingers with his thumb. He thought he could detect a tiny bit of movement, the pulse of a heartbeat... John's. It made him give a low groan of his own. Shit he wished he knew what to do. Using a feather light touch, so as not to hurt John, Karkat stroked downward, stopping when the side of the loose fist he'd made hit his pelvis.

It felt like every muscle in John's body was clenching and unclenching, writhing the moment that he felt Karkat's hand on his erection. He slapped a hand over his mouth, barely muting an unbidden groan, one that was so loud to even his own ears, it made him blush harder. Oh god, and that breath... Karkat's breath on his hip, he was so _close_. Warning lights started to go off in his head, that _no god no_ those fangs he had were too sharp, way too sharp to be that close to such sensitive skin, but he bit down the urge to move away, because he knew the troll wouldn't hurt him. He really doubt he was even going to put his teeth on anything, so why was he ever worried?

Blue eyes wandered down, and he almost lost his concentration when he felt Karkat's hand entirely around him. He had to stay focused on something, or he... fuck, he'd lose it. Then die of embarrassment. He spotted Karkat's bulge as it tried clamping onto the folds of the comforter, and John thought for a moment

if those stains were ever going to get out; because it seemed like the troll's nook and bulge were both excreting more fluid than humanly possible. Though he guessed Karkat wasn't human anyway, so it was probably normal.

Adjusting himself just slightly so he could lean up on one elbow, he reached out, fingers latching onto the wet, moving appendage with more confidence this time. Whoa, it was so _slick_ now. He slid his fingers over it in a similar motion to what he would do with himself, but it was apparently their nether regions didn't quite work the same way.

An embarrassing series of warbling chirps escaped Karkat as his eyes slid shut, barely able to keep from rolling his hips forward even as his bulge desperately wound around John's fingers and wrist, squeezing as it coiled and rubbed against him. He unconsciously gripped John more tightly, trying to remember to be mindful of his claws because that was the _last_ thing they needed. He wasn't sure what to do with his hand so mimicked the motions John was attempting to make - his bulge all but halting him with the back and forth gestures it made as it slid against him.

Lust clouded his mind as he moved to mimic John's position, his hip propped on his side so he could keep his bulge around John's hand as he leaned forward on his chest. He moved his hand up and down unevenly, thumb rubbing along what must have been a vein along the underside. It was uncomfortably dry, though. Letting go he ignored the sound of protest John made and reached down to slide his hand over John's. He shuddered, back going rigid as he traced his fingers over the sensitive spots of his own bulge, clenching his teeth tightly together to avoid making sound.

Satisfied he pulled away and reached for John again, his hand now slick and tinted red as he gripped John's bulge and stroked. At once it was smoother and less choppy and he was able to move just a bit faster. With a huff he pressed his cheek against John's leg, absently turning to press a kiss against the inside of his leg, a short way down from his knee.

"Karkat...!" John whimpered, uttering a few words in his human language when he felt those lips press against his leg. Oh god, the slick feeling of the troll's now covered hand against his throbbing erection - just knowing that essence that now covered his most sensitive organ, came from Karkat's...

He bit down mildly on a few of his fingers from his free hand as he tried to keep himself at an acceptable volume, but now, with the ease at which Karkat was moving his hand, the warm wetness of the transparent red fluid dripping down his inner thigh, he was practically moaning and whimpering with each exhale. Was close, getting way too close... He wanted this to last, he wanted to continue those intimate touches, he wanted to keep this feeling inside him.

Lust was quickly clouding his senses. His breath was fast, uneven. Everything was getting so warm, he could feel a fine sheen of sweat beginning to cover his body. He wanted to do something _more_ , something else before he succumbs to such primal urges.

Without a solid thought in his mind, he leaned forward, hand firmly (but not tightly) gripping the base of Karkat's bulge, thumb coaxing the underside; as he opened his mouth, and licked the last few inches of it, breath hot and heavy as he exhaled from his partially open mouth. He didn't even care that some of Karkat's semi-red juices were getting on his tongue. In fact, that made it _better_. He suddenly felt completely shameless, lips closing over the very tip of the soft appendage, and he gave a light suck.

"Shhh-hh!" The only sound Karkat could manage as his world went reeling and his body was plunged into an inferno of heat. For a single, primal moment he had almost tried to shove John away - what the fuck was he doing put his face so close and then he was using his mouth but his tongue was so hot, curled like a fucking runway for his bulge to slide into his mouth, those full lips closing around him. He would have been more embarrassed by the loud keen of pleasure that escaped him if he could actually think.

"John, fuck. Jh..." He'd been able to focus on John, the way he felt strange and heavy and firm in his hand. All he could focus on now was the sensation of John's mouth and fuck. Fuck it was almost... _almost_ like the inside of a nook, all wet and muscle. And fuck John's tongue, the tip of Karkat's bulge coiled and pressed and flicked against John's tongue as though it were another troll's bulge. "Shit, _shitshitshit_." He was rocketing dangerously closer to the edge.

A hand found it's way to the back of John's head, fingers carding as carefully as he could manage through John's hair, resisting the overpowering urge to press down on the back of his head and make him take more of his bulge into his mouth. Instead he turned his head to the side, closed his eyes shut tightly and groaned against John's inner thigh, lips pressing wet, open mouthed kisses there, the flat of his teeth pressing against the flesh just slightly. He tried to remember to move his hand, tried picking up the speed and experimenting with what was getting a reaction out of John.

The hand at the back of his head slid down, petting lower towards his neck, fingertips bumping against the leather of the collar lightly. At some point it had twisted around, the clasp that was supposed to rest at the front instead off to the side, and Karkat's claws clinked against the metal, thumb rubbing at the skin just under the collar in fast, wide sweeps.

John's mind practically short-circuited, and for a reason he never saw coming.

The sensation of Karkat's claws gently running over his skin, down his neck, feeling those fingers ghost over his collar. The collar that bound him to a cruel fate. The collar that protected him, that proved to himself and the world he belonged to _Karkat_. He groaned loudly, a sound that rose in pitch to a pitiful cry of Karkat's name. He wanted to feel _more_ of Karkat, he wanted the troll to surround him, to touch, to whisper to him that he was _his_ , he was _Karkat's_. That he was here, and he was safe, because no one else could touch him.

The human boy couldn't take it anymore, once he felt those fingers glide over the soft material of the collar, down to ghost over the bare skin of his neck. The cry of Karkat's name turned into a strangled keen as his body tensed, and every muscle in his body clenched. Pleasure wracked his brain and for a moment, he saw _nothing_. The erection in Karkat's hand pulsed and John came, limbs shaking and hips bucking desperately in short thrusts, against the troll's fingers.

This, at least, was the same. Karkat could tell that John was about to climax. It felt like John's bulge got even harder if possible and then hot streaks of sticky, thick liquid was coating his fingers, making everything even slicker as John continued to press his hips into Karkat's hand. He didn't seem able to help himself. Watching John, if for only that moment, lose the previous sense of reservations he had was almost intoxicating. Fire burned through his stomach and he realized with a whimper that he was about to tip over the edge as well.

With a choked sound he gripped the back of John's neck, one claw pressing into the leather of the collar as he bit his lower lip hard enough to make red blood well up. His throat felt like it was tightening as he struggled to hold back, wanting to be able to see John through his orgasm but desperately in need of a bucket that was nowhere nearby.

"B- _Ffffuck_!"

He didn't even have time to try and pull away and scramble to the edge of the bed. John's name was on his lips like a mantra as he surged closer to him, wanting to be as near as possible, needing the pressure of his hand against his bulge. He was almost on top of John, chest pressed against his shoulder as he canted his hips just slightly.

It was a glimpse of blue that sent him over the edge. John opened his eyes just slightly, enough to allow Karkat a glimpse of their depth and vibrancy, the way he was looking completely blissed out on his own pleasure sent him over the edge. With a strangled sound he pressed his forehead to John's and went rigid, tremors of pleasure rolling down his spine as he came. He couldn't even think straight enough to be concerned that he was getting John's sleeping device dirty, or that he was probably getting _John_ dirty.

With euphoria still clouding his mind, John was barely able to keep his eyes open; but as the throes of pleasure ebbed slowly away, the boy became aware that - holy shit, Karkat was coming too, and _fuck_ this couldn't even be real. The bulge in his hand throbbed and began pulsing with heat, and it was like he was trying to empty a whole fucking _gallon_ of semen (or whatever trolls called it) onto the sheets in between them both. It just kept coming out, and once John regained enough of his senses to do something about it, he began squeezing the appendage with his fingers, helping to coax out the last of it even though there was entirely too much of it as it were. This couldn't be normal; but Karkat's expression told him otherwise.

John collapsed back onto his side, not minding that half his arm and most of his side was now sticky with Karkat's light red ejaculation. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered if that's what the bucket was for. If trolls had sex in their beds (or recuperacoons) like this, they'd be ruining everything.

His breath was still hot and heavy, but he was beginning to cool down a bit; and that's when he finally got the courage to look up at Karkat with tired, half-lidded eyes, wanting to make sure he didn't just royally fuck something up. Now that he was returning to his senses, half of his rational mind was trying to ask him what the hell he just did with Karkat. An alien. A potentially deadly troll. A _guy_.

With a shiver Karkat half slumped forward as John lay back, catching himself and trying to catch his breath. It was a while longer before he could open his eyes and look back at the human in front of him. He stared silently for a bit, the only sound between the two of them was the loud gasp of their breathing. Finally he managed a deep breath, exhaling it as the corner of his mouth quirked upward.

This had been... strange. John's anatomy was weird and... probably in no way compatible and he'd barely released any genetic material at all, and what did come out was a thick, clearest white substance which was yet another strange contradiction to the clear blue color of his eyes, but it hadn't been unpleasant. No, it'd left him with a warm feeling that made him want to reach out, wrap his arms around John and roll them over to curl up against each other.

He edged closer, nudging John in a way he hoped would get the message of 'you can lean on me' across. Because that was all they could do. Because they weren't matesprits. How could John even want to be matesprits with him... and when had he started thinking about the possibilities of them being in a quadrant together. He tried not to think about it, instead letting the hand that had been holding John's neck drop down to his shoulder to brush the backs of his knuckles back and forth against his shoulder. Oh god was even that too much? Shit, he hoped not. He wasn't going to stop. At least not right now. He'd let himself have right now and then kill himself over complications later. He just wanted to bask in this moment.


End file.
